Nothing makes the gods laugh harder than your Five Year Plan.

So… when Cootie and I got together, we really didn’t waste any time. I mean, officially, it’s been less than a year. But we figured out what we wanted to do, when we wanted to do it and how we wanted it done. Our handfasting is next month (holy shit, our handfasting is next month! we’ve got some things to do!), our wedding is next year and we’re prepping to open our online store. Not only that, but there are people who STILL don’t know how or why she and I happened and they require an explanation. Oy. We have a lot going on. And we were doing it all according to the Five Year Plan.

How silly of us. How silly of any of us.

Hail Eris, none of us can predict what’s going to happen in the next five years. Any Five Year Plan is predicated on what we think is going to happen. Five years of supposition is a shitload of guessing.

Let’s take, for example, the ill-fated X and Cootie Five Year Plan.

We’ll be in Knoxville two or three years more, maximum. Yeah… not so much, Hail Eris. We are going to be here for another seven or eight years. And it isn’t like we’re upset about that, really. Cootie’s family is all here, and I honestly love her family like my own. The Boy is here and is going to be here for a while. So… we’re here, too.

We’re moving to the Carolina coast in two or three years, maximum. Well, let’s adjust that time frame a tad.  See, that time frame was predicated on my mistaken belief that The Boy would choose to live with Cootie and me as opposed to his mother.  I was way the fuck wrong on that. I overestimated my coolness and my importance in his life. So, this is a contributing factor to us staying in Knoxville.

So… we improvised after that. And we went from a Five Year Plan to a Three Year Plan. And Phase I of the Three Year Plan was…

…We will buy a house in Knoxville in the neighborhood that Mogwai wants to go to high school in. Not according to my credit score, we’re not. And since The Boy’s Mother has already bought a house in the neighborhood where he’s going to school,  we’re going to end up renting a house in Mogwai’s school district. This is difficult, because Cootie and I have always searched for a physical place that we could call home. We realize that home is going to be where the other person is, but… and here’s the creepy part… since we were little kids who did not know each other, we have dreamt about and drawn the same Dream House. With the witch towers and the wraparound porch and the hidden passages and the greenhouse. Yeah. The same one. Split soul says what?

And with every obstacle that popped up, you could hear faintly, in the background, muffled laughter and snickering from the Pantheon.

So… we had a Five Year Plan, which became a Three Year Plan, which turned into a Seven Year Plan. One would think I would be disappointed or, at least, frustrated. And really… not so much. Our first year together has been a bit tumultuous and our lives before each other haven ‘t really been marked with stability.  But we have learned to roll with it to the point where when changes come, as they often do, we just absorb it. We say, “Okay,” we Hail Eris, and we change the Plan.

By the way– I started writing this blog approximately six days age. Things popped up. I had to change the plan. Now, here it is. And I’m okay with it. Hail Eris.


2 thoughts on “Nothing makes the gods laugh harder than your Five Year Plan.

  1. Dont ever underestimate your importance in the boy’s life. bottom line is a child will Not choose one parent over the other…and will stick with what has become ‘norm’, and that is living with his mother. We’ve been there….you just go with it, which sounds like what you are doing. I’m so glad you have finally found happiness.

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